"Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25." --Andrew Rutherford

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." --H L Mencken

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." --Any Developer

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." --Brian W. Kernighan

"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time." --Tom Cargill

standards, n.: The principles we use to reject other people's code.

6 Phases of a Project

"The Six Phases of a Project: 1. Enthusiasm 2. Disillusionment 3. Panic 4. Search for the Guilty 5. Punishment of the Innocent 6. Praise for non-participants." --Unknown

"I haven't touched that module in weeks!" --Any Developer

Error Free Code

"It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free." --Steve McConnell

"If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge." --Henry Spencer

"There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs." --Flon's Law

"640 K ought to be enough for anybody." --Bill Gates, 1981

"You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." --Computer analyst to programmer

"Copy and paste is a design error." --David Parnas

"It works on my machine." --Any Developer

"Computer programmers never die... they just byte the dust." --Unknown

"Hey! It compiles! Ship it!" --Unknown

Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work." --Unknown

"Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand." --Unknown